RADling well, other sick

Currently I have three healthy kids and one feverish one. In "normal" families this doesn't pose an issue. In a RAD family it may or may not bring on conflict for a few reasons. #1- the sick kid is going to get attention. point blank the kid is SICK. he needs attention. temps taken, fluids given. a few extra hugs and more TV than I'd like to admit. #2 - the kid is sick. but to the RADling this is scary. I guess I should clarify - for my RADlings this is scary. If anyone in our house is sick or injured the RADling automatically things "they are going to die and leave me and abandon me". Its extreme, yes. Unrealistic, yes. But to them the fear is real and its right there on the surface.

The RADling may act out in negative ways to get the attention that is being taken from them. They may "forget" how to count to 10 on their 1st grade homework (yes, that happened last night - the #3 suddenly disappeared) or they may lash out at other siblings. Hurting them or maybe themselves. Once again, when there is crisis a parent of a RADling must be on constant watch- watching out for and RAD behavior and reassuring as much as you can it will be OK.

In our house a sick sibling is scary. A sick parent more scary. A sick MOM--- oh NO -- don't even consider it. I have been sick or injured in the past. And I hide it as best I can. Function as normal. Nothing to see here, move along! :) For a RADling the mother is a central focus - possibly because it was the mother who "abandoned" them in the 1st place. But every RAD book states the RADling is mother focused. So, if by chance you are the mother of a RADling and you get sick or injured put on a brave face cause you have to. Granted, if its severe you have to let on -- reassurance is the key. I am OK. I will be OK. You will be OK. And I'm not going ANYWHERE! Hopefully that will put their mind at ease.

But any sick or injured kid or change in routine (obviously the feverish kid isn't going to school) can set off RAD behavior. Its not fun, its heartbreaking but just know -- its NORMAL for a RADling. Reassure them. Extra time doing normal chores/tasks and patience patience patience. Not only with the RADling but with the sick one-- happy Tuesday!!